Home for 15 months

Wow 15 months, time really does go fast. Life with Tianna has kept us so busy. It seems everything we do is some how wrapped around Tianna. Of course we would not have it any other way. Tianna has become VERY independent. She now wants to dress her self and pick out her own clothes to wear. Her speech has improved so much, this is do in large part to going to pre-k. Which she LOVES.

It is now just short of one year since her surgery and it is now a long distant memory. Tianna is has become friends with a number of her classmates and two of the her "China cousins" Jenny and Ava. She totally loves to visit her grandma and grandpa.

She has her own likes when it comes to tv shows and music. She is growing so fast and has caught up to kids of her own age bracket. Life with Tianna has been a joy and something we would not trade for the world.

October 17th, home from China 10 Months

It is so hard to believe sometimes that 10 months have passed since we landed in Newark Airport. But these last 10 months have clearly have been the greatest time of our lives. We could never imagine just how much fun and excitement a little girl could bring into our lives. Until we met our daughter. She has touched not just Laura and my heart, but all who have met her. She is so filled with love and little girl excitement about life that you cant help but smile when you meet her.

Tianna has developed her own personality and charm. She knows what she wants and likes and is not afraid to speak up. Her speech is getting so much better every week. She still gets into these verbal rants and we have no idea what she is saying. But most of the time she communicates wonderfully. Even people who don't see her all the time marvel in how well she is growing and maturing.

I credit most of the maturing process to Tianna's wonderful mommy, Laura. Laura has done a fantastic job with this little angel. At times its not easy because Tianna and Laura have become BFF Best friends forever. With that Tianna is always looking for the approval from Laura for things she does well. But that is something that makes Tianna so darn cute.

It was one year ago today that some of our friends from the adoption world and church choir got together and gave Laura her baby shower. We marked that one year anniversary by attending the baptism of our friends daughter Shelby Grace. Tianna watched as Shelby had water poured on her head and she remembered when it was done to her during the summer.

Well tomorrow is Laura's birthday, her first one as a mommy. I am sure it will be special. As will the next couple of months as there are all the holidays coming up. Oh and Tianna picked out costume, she will be Tinkerbell.

Well that is all for now and we will post again during the holidays.

8 months

It's hard to believe it's been 8th months since we met our precious daughter. Alots happened. We celebrated Matt's first Father's Day.
Tianna was baptized on June 27th at St. Josephs Church in Ronkonkoma. She gave Matt the "What the heck are you doing to me" look when he held her over the water. But, she let Deacon Mike DeBelles do his thing with the water on her head. Then, while he was blessing her and talking, Tianna watched him intently, like she was really listening to everything he was saying. We had a great time at the party afterwards, even if the AC in the restaurant wasn't working and everyone was sweating to death.
We found that Tianna is really part fish. She absolutely loves the pool and is already swimming under water, holding her breath. No holding the nose for this little girl. She's meeting so many new friends between going to school and my high school friends who have children around the same age. Tianna's language and speech is improving every day. Our little girl is also growing every day. She's grown 2 inches in the 8 months we've had her.
She's full of personality. Has her own style of clothes. She picks out her clothes every day.
Tianna loves Dora the Explorer, Go Diego Go, The Wonder Pets, and now we can add, My Little Pony and the Care Bears. Of course, she still loves Mickey Mouse and her Barbie movies. We found that the library helped us with the My Little Pony and the Care Bears. lol.
Tianna still loves her barbie dolls and playing with her learning toys. She can not only sing the alphabet song, can recognize all her letters and knows many of the sounds. She watches the Leap Frog learning DVD's. She's learning so quickly. I am so proud at how well she's doing.
Tomorrow, we'll be driving to NJ (about a three hour drive) to visit with my brother Michael and his lovely wife Joni (whom I always thought of as a sister and a friend). We'll be spending the day in their pool (Tianna will be thrilled) and then spending the night at their house. Something Tianna has never done before (slept away from home other than a hotel in Disney). We're looking forward to it but a little nervous since Tianna started having night terrors while in Disney. But, she'll enjoy our visit with the family and their two huge Bernise Mountain Dogs name Darla and Rocker. Monday, we'll visit my old job there in NJ and I look forward to seeing some old friends.

5 Months and Mothers Day

WOW, 5 months, its been 5 months since Laura and I 1st met our daughter. It has been a wonderful time. Some lows but so many more highs. Tianna had her cleft pallet surgery back in March. This week she received a clean bill of health from the surgeon. She is now back on normal foods and can feed herself. She is oh so very happy.

Her speech is improving every day, mainly because of the surgery. However she is now is school, pre-k, and its only been two weeks and you can hear a huge improvement. She knows her colors, well at least the main ones. She can recognize shapes and is able to put complete sentences together.

We are putting finishing touches on her Christening, set for the end of June. Also in two weeks grandma and grandpa and the three of us are heading to Walt Disney World. Tianna does not understand but I got a feeling she will understand when we see Mickey and Minnie for the 1st time.

In April grandpa, uncle John and myself took Tianna to her 1st Mets game at Citifield. She had fun, even if she did not totally understand what was going on.

Of course this Sunday will mark the 1st Mothers Day for Laura. We have a nice weekend planed that includes dinner out for the three of us on Saturday and an afternoon lunch with Micheal and Joni. Then Sunday night we will be spending the evening with my parents and brother Jim and his girlfriend.

Its been a wonderful ride, one that I know will always have new surprises each day.

Surgery complete

Tianna and mommy came home this afternoon after spending parts of three days at Stony Brook University Medical Center. It was a tough three days for all involved. But with the support of family and friends we all made it. The surgery was Monday morning and Tianna had no idea what was about to hit her. She was given a "loopy" medicine around 7:30 and in about 15 mins she was medically drunk. Laura brought Tianna into the OR and that's when Tianna began to fight. She pulled the mask off of her face and gave a swift kick in the ribs to one of the PA's.

Waiting for the surgery to finish was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. The surgery started around 8 am and was finished at 11:30. Then the fun began. Tianna was not happy with the arm restraints that keep he from putting her hands in her mouth. And of course the pain and discomfort was driving her crazy. Outside of a painful attempt to put an IV into her on Monday afternoon the rest of the time at the hospital was about what we figured it would be. There was a lot of pain, discomfort and Tianna just did not want anyone around her at times.

When I look back on the three days I feel there are a few people to thank. 1st one is Tianna, the little girl was a real champ dispite all that was thrown at her. It was painful, uncomfortable and confusing but she really held up strong. Next is Laura, her skills as a mom really came through this week and she showed just how much love she has for Tianna. I may not say it enough but I am really proud of Laura.

Our sister-in-law Andria, who is a nurse at SBUMC came by about 7 times during the 1st two days in the hospital to make sure everything was going well. And to make sure Tianna was get the best of care. My parents came by all three days. On Wednesday they stayed there until the end as I had to go back to work and they drove Laura and Tianna home. Laura's sister Maureen and her Aunt Dingy and our friend Missy all stopped by as well. And to all our friends on FB who gave Tianna prayers and well wishes.

Tianna appears to be adjusting to her arm guards. She may hate them but she is making the best of it. It is only a short 4 weeks or so. By May we will be in Disney and Tianna will forget all of this.

Looking back on Three months home

Well St. Pattys day marked three months home for Laura, Tianna and my self. This has been three months like we have never seen before. Laura and I have both settled in nicely as parents. Laura has been staying home and taking care of Tianna. And despite that fact that at times it may seem like no one notices what type of a job she is doing, take it from me "she is doing a wonderful job". Tianna feels so comfortable with us. She wakes up every morning singing a tune, in Chinese we assume. Most mornings she has a smile when either of us go in to get her out of bed. She has learned that there are things in her life that are HERS, and no one is going to make her share it with no one.

She love to eat just about everything we feed her, not all but most. She loves Corey, I am not to sure if Corey loves her. However Corey will run into her room to wake her up. She loves Mickey Mouse and we have booked our May Disney world trip. Tianna does not understand that we are going, I guess we can keep her in the dark until we get there.

The next big step in Tianna's growth will come this Monday the 22nd. She goes for her Pallet repair surgery. We have a top of the line surgeon working on her, but Laura and I are still nervous and since Tianna does not have a full understanding of English it is hard to explain to her whats going to happen. But we know this is for the best and one day she will look back on it and know we did this for her.

Well that's all for now, please pray for Tianna for a successful surgery and recovery.

Looking back on the 1st month

Today was Tianna's 4th Birthday and of course her 1st USA Birthday. We have now been home for just over 1 month and it has been an interesting one. Jet lag really did a number on the 3 of us. But that only took a week to over come. Laura lost her uncle and then we went right into the holidays.

The month has been filled with doctor appointments, 1st time meetings with family and friends, my birthday and my parents 50th wedding anniversary party. Then today Tianna's birthday. Through it all Tianna has fallen into a routine that has made life easy at home. The crying when its nap or bed time is all but gone. She is learning English and now can count to 10. She understands so much more then I ever thought she would this quickly.

We are now preparing for her cleft pallet repair surgery in February. We are all looking forward to the Chinese New Year Celebration that our agency is hosting next month. At that time we will be able to reunite with some of our travel group. And the best news is that we are looking into to heading to Disney World in May.

Laura, Tianna and I are getting into a groove as a family. Life is good right now.

Jet Lag, Blizzard, a Passing and the Holidays

The adjustment to home life as a family for the 1st week was not that smooth. We got home on the 17th and two days later we were hit with 25 inches of snow. The jet lag really did us all in as sleep patterns were all off for a few days. Then less then a week after coming home Laura's uncle Tom passed away. Uncle was like a father figure to her for many years and his passing, although not a total shock, still hit us hard.

Uncle Tom had been sick for a couple of months (although, he'd been ill for quite some time) and we both thought he may not make it until we got home. But as it turned out his last good deed was waiting till we got home so Aunt Carol would not be alone. He never did get a chance to meet his new Great Niece Tianna, but he was very excited for us when he found out we made it home.

The holidays were a lot of fun. Tianna really did not understand why she was getting gifts at every house she went to, but she liked it very much. After about a week, Tianna was settling in to her new house and her mom and dad.

It seems that now every couple of days there is something new to experience with Tianna. The 1st dinner out, meeting her new extended family, visit to the firehouse. Its all new to her and Laura and I are getting a lot of enjoyment out being parents.

Going Home Part 2 December 17th

We were nearing time to board the plane for the loooooong flight home. While waiting for the boarding announcement we met up again with the lady, her mom and her new daughter. She was visibly upset. I asked her where she was sitting and they told her that she was got 3 single seats. They had nothing together. I could not imagine having all three of us sitting in different seats for a 14 hour flight.

When we saw them on the plane they were in the back with us. They were able to get two together but grandma had to sit in the row behind them. Laura and I both felt the stress of doing an adoption and being on the road had taken a toll on her.

Tianna was wonderful on the flight considering how long it was. She had only two crying spells and one was before we took off. I on the other hand was not as good. I have been afraid of flying lately, not really sure why considering just how much flying I had done in my life. Perhaps since I have a wife and child I feel I have more to live for. Well what ever reason it is, turbulence and I don't mix.

As we got closer to Newark I began to reflect on how our lives have changed in the last 4 months. It seemed that an adoption would never happen, and now it was almost over. Everything was almost over. No more paper work, medical exams, home study updates and most of the quest to become parents was over. Laura and I were now mom and dad. Or as Tianna would say, "Mamma" and "Pappa".

The movement through customs, immigration services and luggage claim was pretty smooth. While waiting for the luggage my dad called wondering where we were. I could tell mom reached a point of not being able to wait any longer. And her wait would end shortly. The 1st family member we saw was my brother Jim, then mom and dad.

The ride home was fun as mom, dad and Jim got to hear about our trip and to FINALLY meet Tianna. Tianna dozed off for a short time on the way home. When we got to the house it was decorated by some of our friends from the FCC LI group. Tianna loved her new room and the play room was a big hit.

We were finally home, as one journey ended a new one was about to begin.

Going Home part 1 December 17th

The 2 hour flight from Guangzhou to Shanghai was uneventful, which is what you want when you are 35,000 feet in the air. Tianna handled her 2nd flight like a seasoned veteran. It was the flight home that I had my concerns. 14 hours for a 4 year old worried me. But I was looking at the big picture and that was HOME. We were heading home.

We arrived in Shanghai a little ahead of schedule and getting our bags together was pretty easy. We checked to see where the next flight check in was and found it. We also found that we had to wait another 2 hours to check our bags in. While we did this we met up with a lady who just adopted a little girl. She was traveling with her mom. They were going to be on the same flight with us back to Newark. We will get to her in my next post.

While waiting, we had plenty of time to get lunch at Burger King, the food was good. But once again we got "The Stares". This Chinese couple a few tables down were staring at us. So I just got up and moved our cart of luggage so it would block them. Once again I keep telling myself, "We are going home".

As we began our walk to the check in counter we see a Chinese man walking a dog heading in our direction. He of course is looking right at us. As he passed us his head does a 180 and just keeps looking at us. It was here that I lost it. I turned around and began to walk in his direction and gave him a few choice words. Laura turned and said "Matt lets go, don't get your self in trouble". After 14 days of dealing with the looks I let loose.

It did not stop here as Laura would encounter another RUDE Chinese person. I had to use the bathroom and so Laura and Tianna waited out side for me to finish. While in there a Chinese woman comes out of the bathroom and sees Tianna sleeping with her head down in the stroller. She bends down to wake her up, Laura yells at her and turns Tianna away from her. I figured this wont stop until we are on the plane home. Considering the mood I was in it was a good thing I was in the bathroom and not Laura. They may have locked me up.

Finally it was time to go the gate, USA here we come.

Wednesday, December 16th

Today marked the last day that we were all together. The other four families were all headed to Honk Kong via train. We stayed behind 1 extra day as we were leaving out of Shanghi. We went shopping during the early afternoon hours. We wanted to stay near the hotel so we could say our goodbyes to the group.

When three o'clock rolled around Tianna, Laura and I made our way down to the lobby to bid farewell to everyone. This was kinda of sad as we struck up some friendships and now it was times to say goodbye. The only good thing is that Sandra and Dawn live near us so we knew we would see them again.

As the group departed and all left the lobby. The three of us stood there and for once I felt like we were alone. Even though we were staying in a packed hotel. But now the focus was on packing and getting out in time to head to the airport. We faced about 16 hours of flight time on Thursday and we had know idea how Tianna would take to that.

Anyways the night time included another helping of McDonald's and a walk back to the hotel. Laura and I did most of the packing after Tianna fell asleep. It was kinda funny when Tianna woke up in the morning. She looked around and every thing was packed. She had that look on her face like "What happened".

Well it was now time to "HEAD HOME"

Tuesday, Decembe 15th

Well this was going to be the last day the group would be together. On Wednesday the other 4 families were all scheduled to head to Hong Kong via train to begin there journey home. There were two main events for today. The finalization of the adoption at the American Consulate and the Pearl River cruise.

For the finalization, we boarded the group bus and took about a 45 min ride to the consulate. We are all excited because this will OFFICIALLY bring to an end the Paper Work Process. After nearly 4 years there will be NO MORE PAPER work to do for this adoption. Tianna will be ours for ever.

It was a rainy afternoon but that did not dampen our spirits. We all had to go through the security check and we were not allowed to bring in any video or camera equipment, including cell phones.

As we sat in the big open seating area there were about 50 families total going through the same process. The waiting reminded me of being at the DMV, we would be called up per family to a window and sign a paper and present ID. Finally after about 40 minutes of families being called up a lady got up and spoke about the consulate and what there duties were. Then we were all asked to stand up and repeat an oath. Afterwards the lady said "Congratulations you can all go home now" At this time chills came over me. The words "Go Home"

We headed to the Pearl River Cruise. Since we were ahead of schedule we had a little time to kill so we stopped off at a hotel that has the biggest lobby in all of China. It was not all that exciting but it did make for some good picture spots. One we used for our Christmas cards that of course we sent out late.

The Pearl Cruise was fun as it was the last time we would all be together as a group. The food was not that good but there was an entertainer that Tianna really loved. It was fun watching Giu Lan dance with Tianna and Katie. Katie (age 10) had just gotten a younger sister (age 8).

Monday December 14th

Well this was a day that we had only two things scheduled. Our guides were headed to the American consulate for our visa application appointment. It would be here that if there were anything wrong it would show up. Since this part was vital to us going home Gui Lan ordered all of us to stay in our rooms from 10 am to noon. That way if they needed us for anything she could be sure to get us. We felt as if we were under house arrest. Well noon came and no phone call from Gui Lan, all is good.

Later that night, we shared a group dinner at the restaurant in the Holiday Inn. The food was not the best but it was nice sharing the 2nd to last night with the group. By this time we were all in "going home mode".

Sunday December 13th

Today was another day that there was not much going on. We had a scheduled tour to the "Six Bayon Temple". It is tradition that adoptive families receive a blessing during a ceremony here. We decided why not and had Tianna blessed. Two other families did as well. Tianna was funny because Laura was holding her while on her knees during the blessing. She pointed down. She went down on her knees too just like us. I think she really enjoyed the bell that the Buddist was ringing. The tour was some what quick because there was not much to see, but it did make for some good picture spots.

Later this night three families met for dinner at the Pizza Hut near the holiday inn. It would mark the 2nd of three times eating there. The food was very good. In total we had 13 people have dinner. It was kinda funny seeing all these Americans with Chinese babies take over a Pizza Hut. During dinner I snapped some more pictures and caught one of the funniest ones. It shows Tianna and Laura drinking from mugs and the expression on Tiannas face looks likes she is saying "Bar keeper give me another "

Saturday December 12th

This was the BIG day, it seemed like there were many big days. This was the day we were to get the results back from Tiannas TB test. 4 of the families headed to the Medical exam office. Toms family did not have to go as there daughter is under 2 and had it on Thursday. It was at this time we met back with Sandra and Dan and there new daughter. Also there older son Dan Jr flew in late on Sunday by himself as we met him for the 1st time.

Mary, the 5th family also was in on this exam trip. She was with us in Beijing as well with Sandra and Dan. Also Gui Lan Zong, our tour guide flew in the night before. When we got to the exam office is looked like a mad house. Kids, parents and guides all over the place. We waited for a little while and then us and Veronika got called in to go over our daughters results. We were up 1st and my fears came true, Tianna test positive on the skin test. Admittedly I was flipping mad inside.

Now I wanted some answers, our local guide Wensi said " we need to give Tianna a chest x-ray". I wanted to know what will happen to my daughter if this shows up positive. No one could give me any type of an answer. Fearing the worse I called for Gui Lan to come over to figure out what was going on. Laura could see that the "Big guy" was gonna explode.

Well after I paid the 200 yen fee for the x-ray, which BTW Tianna thought was fun, it all came out negative. Tianna was fine and we would be okay to leave on the 17th. Another thank you to God goes here.

Funny though, Laura reminded me later on that Tianna had received a TB shot in the orphanage, so of course she would show positive on the skin test. Anyways all is good.

Friday December 11th

Today was for the most part an uneventful day. There was nothing scheduled for us so we hooked up with Tom and Dawns family and headed back to the White Swan for some shopping and another meal at Lucys.

Across from the White Swan are plenty of stores with out side tables set up to sell there merchandise. I got a lot of fun out of these stores as it was a game to see just how low they would go down from there original asking price for there stuff. This one store gave me a price of 620 Yen ( which is about 90 USD ) with in a couple of minutes I had him down to 225.

The three of us had a quite night as far as dinner goes. We were a bit excited knowing that the rest of our group was flying in tonight and we would all be together for the 1st time.

December 10th

December 10th was another big day for us as it would mark the day for Tianna's medical exam. ALL children must go through a medical exam before leaving China. Also for children over 2 years of age all must have a TB test. The TB test part made me very nervous. There have been cases where a child turns up positive for TB and must go back to the orphanage until they are cleared up. I could not begin to imagine how that would be if this happened for Tianna.

The morning we met Veronika and her new daughter in the lobby. Veronika was with is in Beijing and we left there the same day. We also met up with a 5th family that began there trip in Hong Kong. Dawn and Thomas and there three kids and new daughter. The three families were headed for about a 15 min walk to the medical building for the test.

Getting through the maze of street vendors was interesting. As we walk through there I really thought just how lucky we were to live in the USA. There are people trying to make a living selling dog food on the side of a street.

Tianna was not to happy with the exam, she cried and cried. It only got worse when we did the TB test. They had to stick her with a needle. It was at this time when Laura and I both felt we had become parents as we FELT Tianna's pain. She hurt we hurt.

The rest of the day was to ourselves and we ate lunch at a western style outdoor restaurant "Lucys" right near the White Swan. It was here that we are Bacon Cheeseburgers and fries. It was also here where I almost lost it with the China locals. Tianna woke up early from a nap to have lunch, she was not happy and cried and cried. Its bad enough that I now have a screaming child with me in public but now I have to have a table of three Chinese people just staring at us. It is customary to admire the adopted child when they are seen with there new parents in public. But this almost put me over the edge. Laura was surprise that I kept my cool. But I kept telling myself "we are leaving soon".

Thought about December 8th and 9th

December 8th was a huge day for us, it called for a return trip to the civil affairs building to do ALL the paper work and make the "donation". To say it was crazy is an under statement, we were in luck because Jackie knows all the people in the office and he made it somewhat easy to navigate through the see of parents, children and guides.

The 1st order of business was the registration, this was a moving time because after we all sign some papers and put our finger prints down on paper they lady said, "Congratulations you are now a family".

When it was time to leave we had shed most of the extra "luggage", that was my name for the $7,ooo in US cash I have been holding on to since we left for the airport.

Wednesday the 9th was the day we would leave Changsha and the Hunan area for good. I kinda felt sorry for Tianna because we were taking her from her home city for good and she has know understanding what is happening to her. I could only image if some one had down this to me. I wonder how I would feel. But Laura and I both know it is for her own good.

Tianna took her 1st plane ride tonight, it went real well and it was short, 1 hour flight to Guangho. Tianna was funny in the airport, she wanted to wear her "hello kitty" back pack, its about the same size she is. We were so looking forward to getting to the new hotel, as we knew we were catching up with one of the families we had left in Beijing and would meet a new family that started the trip from Hong Kong.

Also we knew this was the last stop before we would be allowed to GO HOME.

Thoughts about Dec 6th and 7th

Laura and I got into the Dolton hotel in Changsha later then we expected. We were met by our guide Jackie. Jackie is a real nice local guide who seemed very happy to be helping us during the most important time of our lives.
We got very excited when he told us that he has been in contact with Tiannas orphange and they said that Tianna is excited about having a momma and poppa. I thought it might have been tough to sleep tonight but as it was I got a good night sleep in.

Monday morning seemed to fly by, before you know it we were in the lobby waiting for Jackie to pick us up. The civil affairs building was only a couple of minutes away and shortly we would see Tianna for the 1st time. Tianna cam walking in the waiting room with a couple of nannies and her friend, who was being adopted at the same time.

It was kind of a strange moment in a good way, we had seen pictures of Tianna and she seen us and now we were face to face, I almost did not know what to do. The whole meeting last about 30 mins, we took a few pictures and it was off to returning to the hotel.

We went back to the room with Jackie and filled out some paper work, sykped with Tiannas grandparents and headed down for some lunch. Jackie stayed with us to order food for Tianna and make sure we were set up at the restaurant. The rest of the night was a get to know you session.

Some more pictures from Beijing

The first picture is of the moms and our guide, Gui Lan Zong in front of the Forbidden City.

The second picture is from the Summer Palace, in front of the marble boat.